


Where the Heart and Mind Collide

by VictoriaAGrey



Series: Sine Metu Vive [3]
Category: Walking Dead, Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Break Up, But they get back together in a big way! I swear., Daryl doesn't know how to open his mouth, Everyone suffers because of it, Love, M/M, Miscommunication, Nightmares, Rick tries to talk to him, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 17:43:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1787584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VictoriaAGrey/pseuds/VictoriaAGrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that Daryl finally has Rick, naturally he finds a way to bring it all crashing down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where the Heart and Mind Collide

**Author's Note:**

> Unlike with the previous installment, I recommend having read both previous pieces to have a firmer understanding of this one. You can read it without, though. You just won't pick up on a few references.
> 
> Enjoy!

_A thick fog swirled around Daryl’s feet as he scoured his surroundings for trace clues as to where he was. Large sycamores and fiery trident maples towered above him blocking out all light from the waning quarter moon. Scarlet red leaves detached from their branches and descended towards the ground at an eerily slow rate while others hovered in the air. The white interior bark of the sycamores seemed to emit a ghostly glow into the small, barren clearing he was standing in._

_Sweat beaded across his forehead as he willed his itching hands and numb feet to move. Will was not enough, though. Fear trickled down his spine when he realized he was immobile; frozen solid in this timeless vacuum. Forced to bear witness to whatever this dreamscape desired._

_Rick’s lithe body emerged from the opposite end of the clearing, fog billowing in waves about him before parting like the Red Sea in the face of his sure stride. An air of lightness surrounded him as he made his approach while Daryl was left feeling as if he were heavy as marble. Coming to a stop an arm’s length away from him, Rick tilted his head in an almost reptilian fashion to observe him with cold, threatening eyes._

_Extending an arm, Rick lightly traced his left pectoral before his hand inexplicably plunged into Daryl’s chest; ripping through bone, muscle, and sinew as if they were nothing more than smoke on the water. Pain scorched through him, but he could not pull himself away from the hand ruthlessly invading his chest. Screams welled up inside him as he could not move his mouth to cry out. In Rick’s eyes, he must look as if he were impassive to the entire ordeal._

_The hand inside him gently withdrew with his still beating, bleeding heart. Unfeeling eyes connected with Daryl’s as Rick moved the heart to his mouth and tore through the vital organ with cruel efficiency. Blood flowed out of his mouth as his teeth gnashed at the tissue, swallowing pieces of it. Bile flooded the back of Daryl’s throat at the sight and at his own impotence._

_With one last icy glare, Rick dropped the remainder of the dead heart to the ground and walked away as if he were none the wiser to what had just occurred. It was only once he was gone that mobility returned to Daryl. All he registered was that he was falling..._

_Falling..._

_Falling..._

“Dairy!”

Daryl gasped as he awoke from his nightmare to find a little squirming body on his chest. If anybody else had woken him, he might have been irked, but this little person was always a welcomed distraction, especially if it was from himself.

“Christ, Judy. Ya tryin’ ta scare me?”

“Feed me!” Judith ordered as her beguiling pale blue eyes, so reminiscent of her father’s, implored him to obey her.

“Why can’t yer daddy feed ya?”

“Daddy’s outside.”

“And Maggie? Carol? Beth? Gle- ”

“ _Dairy_! Pleeeeease?”

_One of these fucking days I will learn to say no to her._

“Alright.”

The pink bundle on top of him squealed elatedly at his agreement and wrapped her small arms around his neck. She could walk just fine and often insisted on running to her destination, but when it came to Daryl she always wanted him to carry her. Michonne had once joked that it was like he had grown a pink frilly tumor on his side and he couldn’t deny the truth behind it.

Wrapping an arm around her, he sat up from the couch he had been sleeping on and started making his way towards the kitchen. Carol was busy sorting food from a recent supply run when they walked in.

“I’m sorry, Daryl,” she apologized when she saw his exhausted face. “I told her to wait for you to wake up if she was going to demand that you feed her.”

“’S alright. I don’t mind,” he insisted as he placed Judith on the green granite island countertop. “Did Lucy eat?”

“Yes. Unlike Little Miss Asskicker, she can eat without your assistance.”

“At least one of ‘em can,” Daryl grunted before turning back to the gleeful child. “What’d ya want? Apple or peach?”

“Kiss.”

“Judith! Apple or peach?”

The purpose of his chastising tone was defeated by Carol laughing and Judith putting on her best pouty face, completely unperturbed by his show.

“I ain’t gonna ask ya again. Apple or peach?”

“Kiss.”

“Fine. Yer gettin’ a peach. Don’t complain ta me if ya don’t like it.”

Grabbing one out of the basket where they kept freshly picked fruit, he diced the peach into eight slices and sat a plate of them down beside her. She ignored it in favor of continuing her sulking routine.

“If ya eat the peach, I’ll give ya a kiss when yer done.”

“Gimme kiss and I’ll eat the peach.”

_Jesus Christ. I’m bargaining with a toddler._

“Judith.”

“Dairy.”

“Give it up, Daryl,” Tyreese snickered as he came into the kitchen. “She’s got you wrapped around her little finger.”

_Don’t I know it._

Daryl knew when he was beat and he leaned forward to press a kiss to her nose. Some of Daryl’s favorite memories of her when she was little are how she would giggle when he did that and he loved that it still had the same effect. Judith kissed his nose in return before happily turning to eat her peach slices.

“Woah, what are you doing up? Didn’t you have last watch?” Glenn asked as he, Abraham, Michonne, and Rick walked in.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah, or maybe that little girl devouring a peach wouldn’t let you,” Abraham teased. Judith held out a slice to him which he took with an exaggerated bow and kiss to her hand.

_Yeah, yeah, yeah I do whatever she wants. I got that._

“Daryl, could I talk with you for a minute?” Rick asked, tilting his head in the direction of a corridor leading out of the kitchen.

Rick led Daryl down the hallway and into the vacant library. Both remained silent as Daryl walked towards a window overlooking the front yard and Rick leaned against the large mahogany desk looking pensive. The ever present tension between them was palpable, the air dense and leaden.

“Abraham, Glenn, and I are gonna go scout the area. Glenn’s concerned that two herds are heading in this direction.”

_He told us all a few nights ago._

“Aren’t you gonna say anything?”

“’Bout what?”

“Something. Anythang.”

Nothing was offered by either party to break the silence. Rick’s hands rubbed roughly against his weary face as Daryl continued to absentmindedly look out the window. With a trepidation he had not shown since early in their relationship, Rick approached Daryl and gently turned his face towards him.

“Damn it, Daryl. Talk to me. What did I do?” Rick softly intoned as he fingered the long strands of Daryl’s hair.

_Nothing._

“Nothin’.”

“Is that what it is? It’s not something I did do, but something I didn’t?”

“Don’t ya have somewhere ya need ta be goin’?”

“Yeah, guess I do,” he replied. When he leaned in for a chaste kiss, Daryl reciprocated but with only the barest amount of pressure. Rick turned away with a pained grimace he failed to conceal.

Freezing with his hand on the doorknob, Rick spoke with a tone of forced nonchalance without looking in the direction of his target.

“You should get some sleep. Use the bed. It’s not like you have to worry about me being in it.”

Early fall had come to Georgia not too long ago, but for a few seconds after Rick left him alone in the library, you could have fooled Daryl into thinking it was the dead of winter.

_To the untrained eye, Lori looked as if she was doing well._

_She ate enough to support herself and the baby growing inside her. Interaction with the group was scarce, but enough to not cause concern. Carl was always on her radar even though she was hardly on his. Rick interacted with her as he would anybody else in the group._

_For someone as emotionally undeveloped as Daryl, he could recognize a whole spectrum of emotions in others. Surviving under the iron fisted rule of his father depended on his personal emotional growth stunting in favor of developing a keen eye for finding it in others and acting accordingly._

_Like the others, Lori was depressed and scared when he found their campground near the quarry. He learned quickly that she had lost her husband, which was why he was surprised to see that she had become involved with Shane barely a week after his and Merle’s arrival. There was an ease about them that spoke of a long acquaintance, but he couldn’t say whether their affair had been a long time coming or a retreat into the arms of the familiar. At the end of the day, he didn’t give a rat’s ass about what they did alone in the woods as long as news of it didn’t make its way back to Carl, Lori’s son with her dead husband. Only God knew how the kid would react to finding out his mother had already moved on from his father and Daryl didn’t want to deal with the potential drama that could cause._

_Daryl was as shocked as anyone when he learned that the new guy from Atlanta was Lori’s husband who was, apparently, not dead. It seemed that the dead could now rise in more ways than one. In no way was he tempted to tell Rick about what had transpired between his wife and his best friend while he was “dead,” but that didn’t mean he wasn’t bracing himself for the inevitable reveal. He was almost certain that it would happen the morning after they arrived at the CDC, the tension between Shane and Lori along with the scratches on his face told Daryl everything he needed to know about what happened between them the previous night, but Rick remained oblivious. Or, better yet, ignorant to the obvious._

_It wasn’t long until all was revealed and relations between Rick and Lori strained until they broke. Daryl wanted to feel guilty for taking a secret pleasure in knowing that they were finished as a couple for all intents and purposes, but he couldn’t. The split gave him a false hope that maybe one day he could have Rick as his own. Know from firsthand experience what those curls felt like between his fingers and what it was like to have his Bombay Sapphire eyes focused on him as if he were the only thing in the world that mattered._

_“Bastard.”_

_Where the hell did that come from? “Hello?”_

_“Home wrecker.”_

_“Who the hell is this?”_

_“Redneck trash.”_

_“Who the fuck is this!?”_

_“Worthless piece of shit.”_

_“WHO ARE YOU!?”_

_“Disgusting, good for nothing, asshole. No good. Waste of air. Deceitful little bitch. Backwoods reject. Vile. Useless...”_

_On and on went the insults in a gentle, coaxing whisper from the back his mind, begging him to believe every word and hate-filled slur. It would be so easy to sink into himself and allow every invective that was said to him in an unidentifiable voice to penetrate the thick layers of his defenses. They were nothing new. He’d heard them all before._

_The darkness around him began to spin like a vast hurricane he was trapped in the center of, composed of all the vengeful words the voice was still murmuring to him. An intense pain began to radiate out from his solar plexus to his extremities. None of the screams that were trying to escape his throat managed to when he felt, more than saw, his arm stretch and bend as it became a part of the storm. Slowly his entire body was consumed by the whirlwind; stretched, mangled and pulled as easily as one can manipulate putty. The agony was beyond comprehension and as he began to contemplate his certain death, everything stopped._

_Daryl found himself surrounded by nothing. Darkness made up the entirety of the – area? – he was in. All he could see was himself in perfect clarity, though there was no discernible light source._

_“You’re pathetic.”_

_Turning around at a speed likely to give him whiplash, Daryl came face to face with his tormentor._

_Lori looked beautiful. Long, flowing dark brown hair settled just below her small, but full breasts. Skin clean and unmarred by scars earned during the end of the world. Short red dress hugging every curve of her gorgeous, toned body. She was stunning, a tour de force in the perfection that genetics could offer when combined properly. She looked at Daryl with a repulsion one often reserved for being confronted with the worst mankind had to offer._

_“He doesn’t love you.”_

_“Ya don’t know that.”_

_“But I do. And so do you. How could someone like him ever love someone like you?”_

_“Shut up!”_

_“Look at us, Daryl. How different we are. I was with Rick, but look at how many men wanted me. Even you thought I was beautiful. Saw in me what so many other men did. And then there’s you. Scarred, beaten, damaged. Nobody wanted you. Craved your touch. It’s no wonder the only women who would bed you were drunk, low self-esteem degenerates.”_

_“Stop!”_

_“But they always left you feeling hollow. As if some need in you had not been met. Maybe it was that they didn’t have the right parts for your proclivities.”_

_“GO AWAY!”_

_“They would be disgusted by you, your family. If they knew what you did to Rick, what you allow him to do to you. You know what names they would call you before disowning you.”_

_Daryl tried desperately to move his hands to cover his ears, but they wouldn’t move. Lori wasn’t stopping and there was nothing he could do to prevent her from continuing her subdued, but vehement tirade._

_"You love it, though, don’t you? Having him inside you. Possessing you. Using you for his own pleasure. That’s all it is, you know. He’s never made love to you. It’s so sad that you actually believe you’ve made love to him.”_

_“Stop.”_

_“You’re not capable of it. Nobody as broken as you is. You aren’t able to feel or receive something as pure as love. You don’t deserve it. Or him.”_

_“PLEASE STOP!”_

_“RICK WILL NEVER LOVE YOU LIKE HE LOVED ME!”_

_“STOOOOOOOOP!!!”_

“Jesus Christ, Daryl! Please wake up!”

Coming to, Daryl gulped in too much air at once to compensate for the sensation of drowning and he lapsed into a coughing fit. The strong hands which had been attempting to shake him awake moved him into a sitting position and began rubbing soothingly up and down his back.

“It’s okay, you’re fine. I’m here. Deep breaths in through your nose and out your mouth. You’re gonna be okay.”

Instinct made Daryl quickly catalogue his surroundings as he regained control of his body. It was nighttime, somewhere around two in the morning judging from the moon’s position.  _I slept the entire day?_  His heart rate was unnaturally high and he was drenched head to toe in sweat. There was too much of it on his face to know if he had cried in his sleep or not, but his face had the swollen feeling he got after he cried. Rick was trying to disentangle the bedspread from his legs as he kept one hand on his shoulder blade supportively.

“You wanna tell me what that was about?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry Daryl, but that’s not gonna cut it this time. We need to talk about this.”

_He thinks I’m weak._

“We don’t gotta talk about nothin’,” Daryl snarled as he launched himself out of the bed –  _away from him_  – and began looking for his clothes.

“This is the first time we’ve slept together in weeks - ”

“No, it’s not.”

“- without the babies and you have a nightmare.”

“Wasn’t a nightmare.”

“Bullshit!” Rick roared at him as he jumped out of the bed to face Daryl head on. “You were choking on fucking  _air_ , Daryl! I thought you were  _dying_! The only thing I could make out was my name. You need to tell me what that was about. Was I choking you in the dream?”

“Get outta my face!”

_Calm down, Daryl. He’s just concerned. You know that._

Rick shrunk back from him immediately and sat dejectedly on the edge of the bed. He dropped his head into his hands heavily and carded his fingers through his hair in an effort to calm himself. Daryl found his clothes and began putting them on as fast as possible to escape Rick and their room.

“It’s been months since we’ve really talked. I don’t know what’s going on with you. I can’t even remember the last time we had sex.”

“So’s that’s what this is about, huh? Yer just pissed ‘cause yer not gettin’ any.”

_Oh my god. I did not just say that. Shut your mouth, Daryl. Just shut your fucking mouth._

If the situation wasn’t so serious and fucked up, Daryl would have surely laughed at Rick’s gobsmacked expression. He looked like a fish out of water with no idea how to get back into the river it was so unexpectedly yanked out of.

“That... that’s not what I meant at all,” he stuttered in explanation. “What I mean is that we aren’t involved with each other in any way. Haven’t been for months and I have no idea what went wrong.”

“Nothin’ went wrong.”

_Shut. Up._

“You know as well as I do that’s not true. We don’t sleep together. We don’t talk. Nothing. You don’t even let me touch you.”

With the last button of his shirt in place, Daryl moved to leave the room before he could say anything else to ruin what tentative ties he and Rick still had. He didn’t make it five steps before he heard Rick say the fatal words he knew were a long time coming, but he dared to hope to keep at bay through avoidance.

“Are we over?”

_Fucking hell that hurt. Words shouldn’t hurt like that. I can stop this now. Talk to him. Why won’t my mouth move?_

“Simple yes or no, Daryl. I can’t do this, whatever it is, anymore.”

_I didn’t mean for this to happen. I never meant to do this to you._

“I’ll get my stuff outta here by tomorrow.”

And just like that, Daryl ended what had been a good relationship before he tainted it. He did not look back at Rick as he left to go have his impending panic attack in peace.

~~~

Telling the kids three days later was a disaster.

Lucy wasn’t old enough to grasp the deeper meaning of why Daryl and Rick were not sleeping in the same bed anymore, but Judith was. When they confirmed to her that yes, they were no longer together, she started wailing at the top of her lungs that “Daddy and Dairy don’t love each other anymore,” which Lucy took as her cue to begin crying as well. All attempts at comforting them went up in flames and ultimately Carl picked up both girls to carry them out of the room, but not before he glared daggers into Daryl and left without saying a word.

Maggie and Glenn were sympathetic to the break up and offered to keep the girls with them until they wanted to sleep with him or Rick again because Judith refused to and where Judith went, so did Lucy.

Thanks to Carl’s cold shoulder and Judith telling anybody she saw about what she had been told that morning, everybody knew by the time afternoon came around. It wasn’t something they were going to announce, knowing that everyone would figure it out soon enough, but it was disheartening to see that everybody had assumed they had already broken up months ago.  _Have I really been that cold towards him for so long?_

Judith was still on the warpath at dinnertime and refused to so much as  _look_  in his or Rick’s general direction, nevertheless let either of them prepare her food or sit next to her, preferring Sasha and Tyreese’s company. It hurt Daryl more than he thought possible and if Rick’s stricken face was any indicator, he was on the verge of tears as well.

Speaking of Rick’s face, he looked like hell. His hair was now in a state of perpetual disarray, as if he kept running his fingers through it, and his face was ashen. The man had obviously not slept in days, at least not for long, and his bloodshot eyes looked ready to give up on him. Daryl knew he couldn’t look much better since all he did was lay awake in bed reading or fletching a new arrow for the hell of it, which is what he is currently doing by candlelight.

_I need to fucking sleep. But if I sleep, I’ll see Lori. No win there. Rick looks like shit. Probably isn’t sleeping either. Is it because of me? Ha! Him losing sleep over me? That’s a laugh. Probably just misses having the babies in bed. I know I do. Lucy’s been having nightmares. Thinks the shadows can become evil people. Hopefully Maggie and Glenn keep a lantern on low for her like I told them. Keep the shadow people away. Of course they probably did! She’s their damn kid. Not mine. Fucking hell, I’m so stupid._

A soft rap on the door pulled him out of his reverie. “Daryl?”

_Glenn._

“Yeah?”

The door opened slowly and Glenn gingerly stepped in looking as if he felt he was intruding. “Judith can’t sleep and she wants to know if she can come sleep with you.”

_Oh thank god. She isn’t mad at me anymore. Or at least not mad enough to deprive herself of sleep out of pride._

“’Course she can. Lucy?”

“She’s already asleep. So, about you and Rick - ”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“No, I know. It’s just, if you want to, I don’t know, get drunk and shoot shit in the backyard, I’m your guy.”

Daryl was surprised when a genuine chuckle came out of his mouth and Glenn visibly relaxed enough to smile good-naturedly.

“”Get drunk and shoot shit?” Yer a real wild one, Chinaman.”

“I’m Korean.”

“Whatever.”

The familiar banter made them both laugh and with a final smirk, Glenn stuck his head out into the hall to guide a tired Judith into the room before leaving. She stood silently at the side of the bed for Daryl to pick her up, she was too short to climb onto the bed of her own volition just yet, and when he tucked her in she curled up on her side, back to him, to go to sleep.

“Ain’t ya gonna say goodnight?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because it ain’t a good night.”

_My heart’s already broken kid. You can’t say things like that to me right now._

“Still mad at me, huh?”

“Yes.”

_Lovely. At least she’s talking to me again._

Daryl blew out the candle on the nightstand –  _Judith isn’t afraid of the dark_  – and laid back to have another go at sleeping now that he has was in a position where he was forced to at least try. Closing his eyes, he prayed to his brain to give him a few hours of undisturbed rest.

“Dairy?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

_Goddamn it, Judith. Don’t understand the power of your own words. She doesn’t get what that means to me. What does it even mean to her? She likes the way I cut her food more than the others? Who the fuck knows._

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he replied, “I love you, too, Judy.”

_“I’m glad that you’re finally stepping up. Being a man.”_

_Nothingness surrounded Daryl, save for the park bench he was currently sitting on. He turned to his right to see what company he was now keeping. The familiar silhouette rankled his nerves._

_Not you again. “Can’t ya ever just leave me alone?”_

_“No. You want me here, regardless of what you think.”_

_“You ain’t real.”_

_“Reality is a construct based entirely on which state we feel most in control of our physical bodies and its interactions with the environment. Most think that’s the “real world.” But who says this isn’t reality and what’s out there is the dream? Aren’t you more in control of what happens here?”_

_“If I was, you sure as hell wouldn’t be here.”_

_“Oh? And who would be?”_

_As if you don’t already know. “What do ya want, Lori?”_

_“I merely wished to congratulate you. You did the right thing by leaving him. He’s wanted to leave you for so long. He didn’t do it though because he didn’t want to see you cry like a little bitch when he did it. Would compromise the safety of the group.”_

_“I ain’t nobody’s bitch!”_

_“Semantics. You bent over for him didn’t you? But that’s not what’s important now. You took control of your break up. Good for you. Now you need to get rid of those pesky feelings for Rick you think are love. Then you’ll be right as rain.”_

_Stop loving Rick? How can I? You can’t stop loving someone because you want to. If I could, I would have stopped this before it started. Rick. He’s not mine anymore. I left him. I miss him. I’ve missed him for months. All because I couldn’t open my fucking mouth. Demons. Lori. They all haunt me. Would he have understood? Listened? Why am I listening to her? She never thought highly of me. Well, nobody does but the others respect me. She didn’t. Why am I listening to her now? I love him. I want to love him. Rick. It sounds so wrong coming out of her mouth._

_“Don’t.”_

_“Don’t what?”_

_“Don’t say his name.”_

_She laughed jovially beside him as if he had just told her joke. “Daryl, I’ll say any name I like. Carol. Michonne. Abraham. Beth. Sasha. Tyreese. Maggie. Glenn. Merle. Rick. Carl. Lucy. Judith.”_

_The fire that burned through him as she read off each name that was a trigger for him was white hot. “Stop.”_

_“Or what? Oh, wait. Don’t tell me... Ahh, yes. Judith. You didn’t like me saying the others but that one reeeeeeaaaaally made you mad. Why?”_

_“Ya leave her outta this!”_

_“I can say her name all I want. She’s my daughter. Not yours.”_

_Ouch. “She’s as good as.”_

_“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Daryl! When are you going to get it through that dense skull of yours!? You don’t love her and she sure as hell doesn’t love you.”_

_“She told me she does.”_

_“She’s a toddler, you dumb shit! She likes that you do anything she says. That’s love to her right now.”_

_“She does love me. And Rick did, too. Maybe he still does.”_

_“Keep dreaming. You know where this is going to end up? You alone. That’s what you fear most, isn’t it? That’s all this false hope will get you. Alone. Isolated. Desolate. If you let all those hopes go, you’ll be better off.”_

_“No,” Daryl replied, but it came out as more of a whimper than firm response._

_“Yes. Let it all go. I’m here to help you. Why would I tell you falsehoods? Let it all go. Let it all go...”_

Daryl clawed his way back to reality –  _away from her_  – and opened his sleep crusted eyes to a brightly illuminated room. On one hand, he was thrilled by the sight because it meant that for the first time in weeks, he had slept through the night. On the other, he knew he had to pay for it with another visit from Lori. Pushing thoughts of her away, he turned on his side to wake up Judith to go down to breakfast and was startled to see she wasn’t there.

“She’s already downstairs.”

_What the hell?_

Flipping himself to his other side, he saw Rick sitting on the bay window seat looking out onto the ocean. He was wearing a blood red button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a new pair of black jeans that had been picked up a few runs ago; he was also barefoot. It made Rick look almost vulnerable in the morning sunlight. The sight made Daryl’s heart ache.

“Rick? What’re ya doin’ in here?”

“I’m sorry. It was the only way I could get Judith to go down to breakfast.”

“She... asked ya to stay with me? Why?”

“She didn’t ask. She demanded. You know how she is,” Rick scoffed as he stood from his perch and started moving to leave the room.

“Wait!” Daryl called sitting up before Rick reached the door. He stopped and inclined his head in Daryl’s direction, but did not turn to face him. “Why did she want you ta stay with me?”

Before Rick could respond, Judy and Lucy’s voices could be heard in the hall leading towards his room. “You’ll find out soon enough,” Rick replied as he left and Michonne came in carrying the little ones that never ceased to put a smile on Daryl’s face.

“Dairy!” both screeched as Michonne placed them on the bed and they eagerly crawled towards Daryl. Lucy was the first to reach him and he picked her up, holding her over his head as she laughed and squirmed.

“Where’s my kiss, sunshine?” he teased as he brought her back down. Living up to the reputation she had when she was a baby, she slapped her tiny hands just a smidge too hard on both sides of his face and kissed his cheeks.

“Dairy better?” she asked with earnest, chocolate brown eyes as he kissed her chubby cheeks and settled her into his lap.

_Better? I’m not sick._

“Huh?”

“Are you better, Dairy?” Judith asked after she kissed his nose, not even waiting for him to return it before she wrapped her arms around his chest, as far as they could reach, and gave him a tight hug.

_What the hell is going on? Why does everyone think I’m sick?_

Looking towards Michonne for clarification, all she did was nod towards Judith with an expression he was having difficulty reading. Turning back towards Judith, he lifted her face with two fingers under her chin so she would look at him.

“What’s this about? Why do ya think I’m sick?”

“I don’t think yer sick.”

“Judith.”

For once it seemed his authoritative tone worked because she started explaining herself. The concern in her eyes was so sincere that Daryl wondered, not for the first time, how deep emotions ran in children. “Yer sad. I don’t want you to be sad.”

_Oh god. Don’t do this, Judith. Don’t be sad because I am._

“I ain’t sad.”

“You are sad,” Lucy chimed in and Judith nodded in agreement.

_Not you too, Lucy. I’ll be fine. Someday. I swear._

“Now ya both listen here. I ain’t sad. I’m fine. I don’t know where - ”

“No!” Judith proclaimed as she got up from Daryl’s side and stood unsteadily on the mattress looking down at him with her hands on her hips. Just beyond her, Daryl saw Michonne’s look of pride at the child’s adamance. Judith was a wild child that made it her mission in life for everyone to know how she felt about everything, but she had never before descended into back talking. To put it lightly, Daryl was caught completely off guard. “Yer lying! I know yer lying!”

“I’m not - ”

“If I can’t lie, you can’t neither.”

_If only things were that simple. Who the hell knows if she’s actually Rick’s blood, but she’s definitely his child. Has his spirit. Nothing’s going to stop this kid._

“What makes ya think I’m sad?”

“Because Daddy’s sad. And ‘cause you were sad in yer sleep.”

“If I was asleep, ya don’t know what I was thinkin’.”

“Yeah, I do.”

_What? Are you Spock now? You can’t read minds, kid._

“How?”

“You were crying.”

_.................................................................... oh shit. Why can’t my fucking nightmares stay in my head!? Why do they always show on the outside!?_

“Why’d ya have yer daddy stay with me?”

“Because Daddy used to make you happy and yer both sad and I want you to be happy together again.”

_Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Goddamn, it must seem so simple to her. It’s not. It’s really not, Judith. Is it? At least I don’t think it is. I don’t know how to talk about stuff like this. I’ve never had to. I don’t if I’d know how._

“Daryl.”

Daryl looked up to connect with Michonne who looked as concerned and loving as she ever had. “Talk to him.”

“Michonne - ”

“No excuses. You’re both miserable. We all see it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Knowing there was no hope in getting him to commit to talking to Rick, Michonne left Daryl alone with the girls who spent the rest of the morning trying to cheer him up. They drew pictures for him (Judith drew trees and Lucy, well, he didn’t know what it was supposed to be but he loved it anyway) and tried to best him at Tic Tac Toe. He knew he had a distinct advantage over them knowing all the tricks about placement and the fact that he had forty some odd years on them, but it was amusing to watch Judy and Lucy argue over where to place the "X" on their turn. By the time Beth came and took them upstairs for their nap, he wondered if he needed one, too. Instead, he camped out in the library with  _To Kill a Mockingbird_.

“Daryl, can I talk to you?”

Looking up from his book, he saw Carl standing in the doorway looking equal parts uncomfortable and determined. Carl had refused to speak to Rick or Daryl since they announced to the kids that they had separated, so Daryl was wary of what he wanted to say. He had been furious with him, that much was obvious, but he couldn’t figure out why.

“Yeah.”

Setting his book down, he watched Carl sit in the leather chair opposite him. The kid looked unusually contemplative, like he was carefully wording what he wanted to say. Daryl decided to wait for him to speak first.

“I figured out my dad was in love you before you did.”

_No surprise there. I didn’t figure it out until he challenged me to deduce it after sex._

“Before we got to the prison, he started depending on you more. Looking to you for answers. Support. That was something he used to do with my mom before The Turn.”

_Lori. The specter looming over me._

“He used to look at her a certain way, too, before they started arguing all the time. Well, more my mom yelling at him and him staying quiet. Looking back, I think he just wanted it all to disappear. Hoped that if he didn’t say anything it would all go away.”

_He did the same thing I did. And he had the same outcome. Broken relationship._

“But he didn’t do that with you.”

The accusation was ripe in Carl’s voice and the anger whose reason had alluded Daryl came into the light. They were now getting to the heart of the matter and Daryl listened intently, willing to let Carl vent his frustrations without interruption. The odd feeling that he was in the right place at the right time overwhelmed him and it froze him in place.

“He fought for you. I know he did. There were times when I would walk down the hall to get a drink of water or go read in the library and I would hear him trying to talk to you. You never said anything back. You didn’t even try!”

_I didn’t know what to say. I never meant to hurt your dad. You have to believe me, Carl. I’m sorry._

“Nobody ever fights for my dad! My mom didn’t even fight for him after what happened with Shane. She just accepted it and moved on. And I’m not saying that people always have to fight for him because it’s usually him fighting for them, but when the time comes that people can return the favor, they don’t. He won’t say anything about it because he’s strong, but I know it hurts him. It has to. And what you did is exactly what everybody else has done.”

_No. No, I’m not everybody else. I would never abandon him._ “I ain’t like everybody else!”

“Then prove it! Fight for my dad! Show him that you care enough to. I don’t know what happened or who said what, but I know that since he was fighting for you, you were the one who left him. That’s on you and you need to fix it!”

A tension fell over the room thick enough to be cut by a butter knife so old and rusted it would likely disintegrate on touch. Carl was fuming and trying to calm himself down. Daryl was mad at himself. How much time passed, Daryl couldn’t say, but it was Carl who breached the silence.

“Are you still in love with him?”

_Don’t need to think twice about that answer_. “Yes.”

“Then please do something about it.”

With everything he needed to say off his chest, Carl started to look like the teenager he was; accompanied by the look of someone who knew they had just done something wrong, but refused to apologize for it. When he abruptly got up to leave the room, Daryl stood up and grabbed his arm to stop him. Regardless of how affectionate he was with the girls, the most he had ever done with Carl was a pat on the shoulder or a teasing ruffle of his hair. He knew that wasn’t going to cut it now though and he pulled Carl into a hug that he thought would have been awkward at first, but Carl seemed more relieved than anything as he hugged him back.

“Ya know, what ya just did, that was you fightin’ for yer dad.”

“I don’t know if it was enough.”

Daryl pulled Carl back by his shoulders so he could look at him. It was remarkable. Now that he had said what he needed to, he looked so young and far too concerned for his years.

“I’ll talk to yer dad. Tonight. I don’t know how much good it’ll do, but I’ll try. I promise.”

“Yeah?”

_Damn. He looks so hopeful. I really will have to try. I’ll probably fuck it up, but I’ll try for him._

“Yeah.”

Squeezing his shoulders one last time, he let Carl go, but not without some parting words.

“And one more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“I wouldn’t let just anyone talk to me like that.”

To his credit, Carl looked properly chastised... and oddly pleased. “I’m - ”

“I ain’t sayin’ ya have to apologize. I had that one comin’ to me for a long time. But don’t ya dare do it again.”

Carl nodded in acknowledgment before giving Daryl an encouraging smile and leaving him alone to his thoughts.

~~~

By the time nightfall had come and everyone had retreated to their rooms for sleep, Daryl had paced treads into the carpet of his bedroom. It was one thing to promise Carl that he would talk to his father, but it was a complete other to go through with it. For all he knew, Rick wouldn’t want to hear a word out of him. Maybe he was asleep already. Daryl glanced towards his bed at the thought of sleep and a fear of what he would see in his own sleep curdled inside his stomach. His feet propelled him out of the room and down the hall before he could stop himself.

The only time he did stop was at the shut door of their –  _Rick’s_  – room. His hand hovered over the silver tarnished door handle and figuring that if he was going on a kamikaze mission with his emotions, he might as well go all in. Quickly opening the door, he walked into the room, shut the door and turned the lock; more to lock himself inside than anything. He figured he would only have this one try at making things right with Rick and he needed to put as many barriers between himself and the ability to easily flee as possible.

Rick was standing shirtless, back towards him, with his arms outstretched to hold the window frame. Daryl could see small beads of ocean water falling out of his thick brown hair and down his toned back, the candlelight next to him making the droplets shimmer. His black jeans were slung low, pant legs bunching above his bare feet. Daryl felt his mouth water at the sight of the beautiful man he had once called his own and he swallowed on reflex, urging the punch of arousal coursing through him to subside so he could say what he came here to say.

“What is it?” came the subdued and withdrawn voice from Rick. It had been so long since Daryl heard that voice that he was temporarily dumbstruck. There were very few things about Rick that Daryl didn’t like or love and that voice was one of the few things he loathed to his core.

“I need ta talk to ya.”

Slowing turning to his side, Rick tilted his head in an unnatural fashion –  _just as he does in my dreams_  – to observe Daryl with confused, cold eyes.  _Still hasn’t shaken his withdrawal_. All it did was reaffirm to Daryl that he was likely committing emotional suicide.

“Daryl?”

“Yeah,” he replied as he raised his right hand and rolled the side skin of his thumb between his teeth. The approaching conversation was already grating on his nerves and Rick still being withdrawn –  _it takes him so long to come around again sometimes_  – wasn’t helping any.

“Something happen?”

“I’ve been seein’ Lori.”

_I really shouldn’t have opened with that. Back rigid. Eyes narrow. Throat swallows. Intake of breath. He’s furious. I’ve already pissed him off and I haven’t even started yet._

“Excuse me?”

“I see her. In my dreams. She talks ta me.”

“About?”

“Us.”

Rick turned to fully face him now, seemingly engaged in the conversation and slowly but surely shaking off his withdrawal. He didn’t seem angry anymore, more intrigued, but you could never tell with him. Anger could be seething under the surface for all Daryl knew considering how restrained he could be.

“What does she say?”

“Stuff.”

_Great answer, Daryl. Real original. That’s sure to win him back._

“Stuff about me... ‘bout how me and her are different.”

“You are different.”

“I ain’t just talkin’ about the fact that she was a woman! I mean about – about  _everything_.”

“You’re not givin’ me much to go on here, Daryl. All you’re doin’ is talking in circles. What does she say?”

_Fucking hell! Why can’t I fucking get any of this right! He’s already getting annoyed. Ask me to leave soon if I don’t start talking._

“That I ain’t... That I’m not good enough for ya. Don’t deserve ya. That ya don’t love me.”

_I sound like a whiny bitch. Needy. No wonder she comes to me. Rick couldn’t love someone like me. Why am I doing this? I’m a fucking idiot._

Rick’s defeated sigh and him impatiently rubbing his hand across his eyebrows told Daryl that his assumption was likely correct. But as he was still able to do, Rick surprised him.

“I have no idea how many times I’ve told you I loved you and yet I can count on one hand how many times you’ve said it to me. And here I’m the one who never doubted for a second that they were loved.”

_I do love you. Always have. Always will. There’s no way that’s returned._

“Ya can’t love me the way that I love you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Ya know nothin’ about me. About my past. Ya ain’t never even asked about my scars.”

Daryl had no idea where that last sentence came from and Rick didn’t see it coming either. He blanched and looked away from Daryl in favor of looking at the floor. As it always seemed to be between them, the air thickened and grew tense.

“Do you want me to ask about your scars?” Rick asked delicately, each word said as carefully as a man walking a tightrope.

_Do I want him to?_ “Sometimes.”

“Daryl, if you ever want to talk about your scars, I’ll listen. But I’ll never be able to tell when those times are, so give me a hint. I didn’t ask because I didn’t think you wanted to tell. And as for pasts, you don’t know mine, but you love me anyway.”

_Nice family. Cop. Honorable. Wife and kid._

“I know enough.”

“Really? Did you know that I have three middle names? Or that my real name isn’t Rick?”

_....................................................... your name isn’t Rick!?_

“Who the fuck has three middle names!?”

“Men who come from my family. That’s who,” Rick chuckled. The sound was so genuine and welcome that Daryl felt himself awkwardly smile. He couldn’t remember the last time he made Rick laugh. “It’s a tradition that’s held for generations in my family. Since we came to Georgia, in fact. All the first born sons have long, obnoxious names. You should hear my great-great-great grandfather’s name. It’s awful.”

“Then what the hell is your name, not-Rick?”

With a wry smile on his face, Rick sat down with his back against the footboard of the bed and tilted his head. “Sit beside me and I’ll tell you.”

Daryl readily took the opportunity presented to him and sat at Rick’s side. It was the closest they had been in weeks without animosity between them. It felt right and working on autopilot, he reached out to take Rick’s hand as he used to when they were alone in bed. He had developed the annoying habit of fiddling with Rick’s wedding ring over the course of their relationship, which Rick never seemed to mind, even now after weeks, potentially months, of no physical intimacy.

“You gonna tell me or what?”

“Richmond. My name is Richmond.”

_Richmond? Really? Your great-however-many-whatsits grandfather’s name can’t be much worse than that._

“Nuh uh. Don’t short change me now. I want the whole of it.”

“Richmond Warren Alexander Livingston Grimes.”

“That’s... a mouthful.”

“Tell me about it,” Rick jeered. “I’ve gone by Rick since I was seven. Nobody, including my parents, have called me Richmond since.”

_Don’t blame you._

“Wait. So if all the first born men in your family have names like that, then Carl...”

“Carlton.”

_Pay dirt._ “Oh, I’m so callin’ him that tomorrow.”

“Go for it. He’ll prolly try to shoot you.”

“Good. Can’t have his aim gettin’ rusty.”

“Well, now that you have me and my poor son at your mercy, it’s your turn.”

“Fer what?”

“Middle name; assuming you have one.”

“I never told ya?”

“No. I’m pretty sure I’d remember you telling me your middle name.”

“Rhett,” Daryl informed him with a nostalgic smile. “My mama gave it ta me. Used ta call me Daryl Rhett.”

“That’s why you read  _Gone with the Wind_  isn’t it?”

“Mmhmm. It was her favorite book.”

“What was her name?”

“Tallulah.”

Daryl enjoyed reminiscing about his mother. She was a good woman, from what he could remember of her, and he liked telling Rick about her. There were some things from his past that weren’t warped into ugliness and his mom was one of them. If they were going to talk about their pasts, she was a good place for him to start.

“Listen, the whole reason I brought up the name thing is that it’s from my past. I am Rick and Richmond is a part of me, but it’s not who I am. Who we were and who are are completely different thangs. And as far as I’m concerned, there’s stuff in the past that can just stay there and rot.”

_I’d like to do that. Let it all go._

“But you do need to tell me what happened, what caused all this. I don’t know what I did and there’s obviously a reason you’re seein’ Lori. I need to know what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

_Here we go._

“Ya treated us like ya would treat anybody else.”

“Of course I did. Why would I treat you - ”

“I don’t mean it like that. I mean it like... Rick, we aren’t everybody else. She was your wife and I’m – was - your... partner.”

_Wow. That fell flat. It’s not like we needed a title. I don’t know what we were. Shit. Now he’s looking guilty. Probably because of Lori. She’s still a soft spot for him. Better say something before he has time to dwell on it. God knows he won’t be able to pull out of that one for hours._

“What I meant to say is that nothin’ changed between us after we started sharin’ this room.”

Daryl watched Rick as he went through various stages of confusion. He felt that his complaint was petty, menial compared to what they now faced in this world, but Rick wanted his honesty. Wanted to know the seed that was planted which somehow grew into a jungle; complete with stealthy jaguars, bloodthirsty lions, and hidden beasts lurking in the shadows. A blush born out of embarrassment crept up his neck as he realized what he was asking for when Rick turned to him with a fond smile.

“You want me to be affectionate.”

_God, if you are real, you will open a hole below me right now so I can die in a fiery blaze of glory in the earth’s core rather than of humiliation. No takers? Awesome._

“I ain’t sayin’ I want ya ta start makin’ out with me in front of the others or nothin’! I just, I don’t know, want ya ta acknowledge that I’m there.”

“I always know where you are.”

_How do I explain what I want so he gets it? Where do I start?_

“Do ya remember that day Glenn and I came back late after runnin’ into a small herd in town?”

“Yeah. You came back covered in walker blood with no car.”

“You and Maggie came runnin’ at us. Those two dumbasses were about ta make another baby out there while you dragged me inside. Once we got in here ya kissed me, told me ya loved me and all that. Ya coulda done that out there. I wouldn’ta stopped ya. I was as relieved ta see  _you_  as  _you_  were ta see me.”

“I didn’t know. You’re such a private person that I figured you wouldn’t want that kind of attention in front of the others.”

“We share a bed, Rick. I’m pretty sure they don’t think we’re just readin’ comic books together in here. Hell, I’m sure they’ve even heard us. Ya ain’t exactly quiet.”

Rick turned to look at him with mock incredulity. “Need I remind you that you’re the one who tends to scream.”

Both laughed until the laughter in the air was replaced with a familiar, comfortable silence. Daryl continued playing with Rick’s ring and fingers, mesmerized by how long they were -  _piano fingers_  - Rick indulging him as he always did. He’d always had a particular fondness for Rick’s hands. They were masculine hands that managed to retain a certain delicacy about them. Daryl was certain that he knew Rick’s hands better than the man himself did.

“Hey,” Rick said as he gently nudged Daryl with an elbow.

“Hey.”

“If you ask me nicely, I might be willing to try this again.”

_I promise I won’t fuck up again if you give me another shot. I love you too much to go through this a second time._

“Give me a second chance?”

“Let’s give us another try. Stay the night?”

“Yeah.”

Daryl felt himself smile as he stripped himself naked and put on a pair of Rick’s pajama bottoms that he wore when the nights were too cold for the covers to sufficiently keep him warm. Climbing into bed, Rick pulled Daryl towards him so their faces were only a few inches apart. He gently caressed Daryl’s face and pushed the stray strands of his hair behind his ears. It felt like Rick was familiarizing himself with his face again. It was a feeling Daryl basked in.

“I know why the lack of affection in front of the others bothered you. Caused you to start seeing Lori. Made you leave me. All I can do is assure you that I’ve never been ashamed of you. Never will be.”

“I ain’t exactly the type of guy people show off.”

“I’ll show you off... to what’s left of the world.”

~~~

Sand shifted below Daryl’s feet as he stood on the beach watching the sunset. It was a singularly striking sight, the yellows, pinks, and oranges reflecting golden on the blue ocean water. At one point this ocean had acted as baptismal water for him, washing way his fears and insecurities about making love to Rick for the first time. He would miss this beach, cherish it in his mind knowing he would likely never see it again.

The decision had been made to leave the mansion little more than a week ago. Sluggish, though steady progress was being made by two herds Glenn and Abraham had monitored coming from the south and east for over a month. Everyone had held out hope that they would divert from their paths, but they continued to steadily make their way towards them. Walkers were slower now due to their advancing decomposition, but they were still dangerous when in groups as large as the ones heading their way. Once they reached them, the best case scenario was that they were trapped inside the property for weeks. The worst case scenario, the one no one was willing to risk, was that they tore down the gates and walls, overwhelming them by sheer size and power alone and killed everyone inside. In the end, the call was an easy, though difficult one for Rick to make.

With preparations under way for their leave, the most Daryl and Rick had been able to do was sleep in the same bed at night. Daryl’s nightmares did not leave him, Lori still dropping in occasionally to demean him, but it was getting easier to cast her out. Rick was making good on his promise to show Daryl more affection than he had before their “break” as they now referred to it. It was nothing over the top, all simple touches or having Daryl play with his hands when they were all resting together in the library before going to their separate rooms to sleep, and it was exactly what he wanted. The group saw the change and interpreted correctly that they were back together, with Judy and Lucy happy that they “loved each other again.” Rick had even kissed him in front of the others today before he left on one last run with Tyreese, Abraham, and Michonne. Initially fearing that that might have been too much in front of the others, Daryl was pleasantly surprised to see that no one reacted to it any differently than they did to Glenn and Maggie or Carol and Tyreese doing the same thing.

“Taking it in one last time?”

Daryl smirked at the man standing beside him. “I was before ya interrupted me.”

“Words hurt, sweetheart.”

“Dumbass.”

Rick’s smile was radiant and Daryl couldn’t help but smile back. He could never resist his favorite smile any more than he could Judith’s ridiculous demands to carry her around by the back of her overalls like a suitcase. They both turned to look at the setting sun and enjoy the salty ocean breeze together, Rick’s fingers lightly holding onto the crook in his arm.

“I want to talk to you about something and I don’t want you to panic.”

“Why the hell would I - ” Daryl started as he turned to look incredulously at Rick before his eyes fell on the shiny silver ring Rick was holding between three fingers of his left hand.

_........................................................................................ he can’t be serious._

“I told you not to panic.”

“I’m not panicking.”

“You are panicking.”

“Never seen me panic.”

“I have seen you panic. You wear that face when you panic.”

_I can’t breathe. He can’t be doing what I think he’s doing. Nope. No way. This doesn’t happen to people like me. I really should start breathing again. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. I probably haven’t moved, nevertheless blinked, since I saw that... that thing that can’t be what I think it is._

“You don’t have to wear it. Hell, you don’t even have to take it. But I don’t want you doubting what you mean to me anymore. I love you more than I’ll ever be able to say and I figured that this is the one grand gesture I could make where you would never be in doubt of my motives. No more questioning how I feel about you. This is my answer, will always be my answer.”

Finally able to look away from the ring between Rick’s fingers, Daryl looked into his eyes to find only honesty and love looking back at him. There was a point in time where the love he had for this man had made him feel like he was drowning, a direct juxtaposition to what he felt like now. A weight he never knew was on his shoulders abruptly lifted and he felt blissful, verging on euphoric. Happy.

“So you ain’t gonna do it?”

“Do what?”

_You just sort of proposed to me. What the hell do you think I’m referring to!? He’s a smart man. He’ll figure it out. My smart man._

When Rick had his epiphany, he looked so startled and confused that Daryl couldn’t suppress his smile. It wasn’t everyday someone could surprise Rick.

“Seriously?”

“Ain’t like this is gonna happen ta me again.”

Pursing his lips and nodding, he rose to Daryl’s bait. “Okay. Okay. Sure.”

Taking Daryl’s left hand in his, Rick dropped to one knee. Daryl really was only kidding about him going to one knee and the sight of Rick’s haughty, stubborn expression caused him to start laughing. The whole situation was insane. The world had ended, the dead were walking, and he was getting proposed to at sunset on a beach. Who  _wouldn’t_  laugh at something like this? Rick’s laughter soon joined his own.

“Shut up! I’m tryin’ to propose to you.”

Corralling as much control as he could, Daryl stopped laughing long enough to look down at the man who looked like he was doing no better at stopping himself. “Alright, yer good. Go ahead.”

“Daryl Rhett Dixon - ” was as far as Rick got before they both lapsed into fits of laughter again. Daryl wasn’t sure he had ever laughed so hard in his life. He was bent in half clutching his chest as he struggled for breath, his sides ached, and tears were streaming down his face. Rick was still holding his left hand as his body was wracked with whole body laughter. To an outsider they probably would have looked as if they had finally lost their minds.

“Shh! Let me finish!” Rick choked out.

“’kay. Finish proposin’ ta me,” Daryl said before he clamped his right hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing again.

“I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

“Yeah, alright,” he accepted as they smiled stupidly at each other. Once Rick slide the snuggly fitting band onto his finger, Daryl pulled him up with his newly decorated hand and kissed him soundly on the lips, their grins making the fit awkward.

“I can’t believe you made me do that,” Rick chuckled when the kiss ended and they pulled apart to look at each other.

“Once in a lifetime opportunity. Couldn’t resist.”

“No, you never could resist an opportunity to get me on my knees.”

“That’s some pretty heavy-handed innuendo there, officer.”

"You know, you've gotten better at flirting since we got together," Rick informed him as he put his hand on Daryl's arm and began leading him back towards the house.

"Ya don't know that."

"Please. I recognized that hunting comment years ago as you tryin' to flirt with me."

Daryl felt a prickle of embarrassment at Rick's comment. He had been trying to flirt with him, in his own way, and he knew he didn't entirely succeed. The fact that Rick  _knew_  he was trying to flirt with him was all the more reason to cringe at the memory. "How'd ya know?"

"You started shuffling your feet when you were talking and you did that thing where you roll your wrist against your mouth. There was also the tiny detail of you being bright red, but I'll ignore that for the sake of your dignity."

_If i didn't love you so much I'd hit you for that comment._

"Gee, thanks."

Rick slide his hand to the back of Daryl's neck, Daryl now keenly aware of the ring on it reflecting the commitment now on his hand, and leaned in to kiss his temple. The gentle pressure reminded Daryl that this was now something he could have everyday until his life ended, whenever that may be. He never thought he'd get to this point in his life, married and hopelessly in love with a man who return those feelings. It was a lot to process and Daryl wasn't sure he would ever work out how it had all happened. But what was important was that it did.

Daryl stepped into the living room after Rick had opened the sliding glass door and was alarmed to hear what sounded like a stampede coming in their direction. Glancing at Rick, he saw the same puzzlement on his face. Both made to move in the direction of the noise, but their entire family came running into the room before they could take a second step. They all looked as if they were bracing themselves for something. Maggie looked like she was breaking poor Beth's hand and Glenn's forearm with how hard she was holding on to them. Carl and Michonne were stock-still with the exception of them repeatedly hitting each other's arm. Tyreese and Sasha looked excited, each holding one of the babies. Carol and Abraham looked ready to burst.  _What the hell is going on?_

"Well!?" Abraham irritably asked, dramatically throwing his hands up.

_Well what!?_

Reaching across him, Rick lifted Daryl's limp left hand high enough for everyone to see. Just when it was sinking in what the gesture meant, Daryl registered the sound of all the women in room screaming bloody murder. They collectively started charging at them and Daryl soon had his arms filled with Maggie.

"Oh my god! I'm so happy for you," she cried as she kissed his cheek.

"Are ya actually cryin'!?"

"Shut up!"

"Daryl," Carol said in a watery voice as she moved to hug him, Maggie having moved on to assault Rick with kisses.

"Yeah, I know," he replied as he smiled at her.

Carl made his way to him next, giving him a quick hug before lifting his hand to look at the ring.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks Carlton," Daryl jibbed knowing it would get a rise out of him. Carl punched his arm  _hard_  before laughing and going to hug his dad.

Everyone, it seemed, needed to have a turn at congratulating him and to look at his ring. All the attention made him feel sheepish, but he didn't have the heart to stop them. Seeing them joyful over his own happiness gave him a sort of peace. It was one thing to know that they all cared, but knowing that his personal well-being was paramount to them shifted his previously held notion that he loved them more than they loved him. 

_God. I really am an idiot when it comes to these people. They wouldn't act like this for just anyone. This is about me. About me and Rick. They want us happy as much as I want them happy. I've never been alone when I've been with these people._

It was hours later when Rick and Daryl made it back to their room. Abraham had wanted to celebrate with popping open a bottle of champagne from the wine cellar and it took reminding him multiple times that it wouldn't be the smartest thing in the world to do considering they were leaving tomorrow. Hangovers would make everyone useless. Instead, they all celebrated by playing the board-game version of The Newlywed Game in the library. Some of the questions didn't apply as they would have before The Turn, but they used what questions they could. Glenn and Maggie emerged triumphant over Rick and Daryl as well as Carol and Tyreese. Daryl surprised everyone by joking that the only reason they won was because they spent most of their "alone time talkin'."

"I thought Maggie was going to kill you," Rick giggled as he settled himself in bed.

"She prolly woulda if I hadn't married yer stupid ass today."

"Maybe."

Daryl climbed into bed beside Rick, laying his ear over his heart. "How'd they know?"

"I found that ring today on the run. Abraham put two and two together and told everyone when I'd gone out to talk to you."

"Asshole."

"I know. We should kill him."

Daryl smiled as he lazily drew shapes on Rick's chest. He didn't know if he was drawing anything in particular or if his finger was perhaps etching secrets into his skin, but he found the movement soothing. Rick often let him do bizarre things like this, probably understanding it was one of the few ways he knew how to show affection. They understood each other that way and Daryl now appreciated that that level of understanding could only take you so far. Some things had to be verbalized in order to be heard.

"I love you."

Rick tapped Daryl's cheek so he would look up at him. "I know."

_Bombay Sapphire eyes. Will he always look at me like that? Like I'm worth all this trouble?_

Moving himself so he was laying on top of Rick, he leaned into to kiss him, overcome with the need to taste him. Kissing him was nothing like it had been with those women he had been with before. It felt special now, almost sacred. He had never been the possessive, jealous type before but knowing how Rick's mouth and body tasted and imagining someone else knowing that taste as intimately as he did repulsed him. Made him want to mark him as his own.

Daryl moved his mouth to Rick's neck and latched on with a fierce bite as he began to grind into him. Rick's groan of surprise was filthy and it set his blood on fire. Even knowing retaliation was coming, Daryl wasn't prepared for Rick to tighten his grasp on the hair at the nape of neck or for him to put a hand into his boxers, digging his nails into an ass cheek and  _scratching_.

_OH! Oh fuck! I'm not going to last long. How did I go for so long without this? I'm an idiot. A fucking idiot._

"Why the hell did you wear anything to bed?" Rick moaned as he tried to push Daryl's boxers down.

"Yer a fine one ta be talkin'."

Rolling off of him, Daryl quickly threw off the offending boxers as Rick did the same. When Rick crawled between his legs and started to move against him, all of the sensations that Daryl had been missing for weeks came crashing into him at once. It was overwhelming and it made him feel raw, like an exposed nerve. He knew unintelligible sounds were now escaping his mouth and he gave up trying to stop them.

_Heaven help me. I'm not going to survive this one._

Aware enough to notice that he had closed his eyes, Daryl opened them in time to see Rick take his hand and place his ring finger into mouth. The sight of Rick sucking on his finger, just above his new ring curled Daryl's toes and he moved it in and out of his mouth in a steady rhythm; hypnotized by the sight and in awe of the feeling it was shooting straight to his cock.

As if reading his mind, Rick reached between them to grip both of their cocks in one hand. Daryl wasn't sure if Rick even had the opportunity to move his hand once before he felt himself bow his back and orgasm with a force so intense he was positive he had likely passed out for at least a few seconds. When he came to he felt like he was still shaking with the remnants of his orgasm and battling valiantly to catch his breath.

"Hey."

Looking into Rick's loving, amused eyes Daryl replied in a way that sounded only half aware, "Hey."

Thankfully they had this moment to themselves, to love and enjoy each other's company before the morning sun beckoned them in a new direction. For tomorrow, they were heading to Alexandria.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, that's right. I married Rick and Daryl. You're welcome.
> 
> No, I'm just kidding. I've had this in mind for awhile and now seemed to be the natural point when it would happen. I don't recall ever having read a fic where Rick and Daryl married and I stopped resisting when I figured that out. As you know if you've read the previous installments, I see Daryl as a romantic. I do not think he would be averse to marrying if he were in love, but I do not believe he would ever be the one to pop the question. And as for the proposal itself, so many proposals are so serious and I didn't want that for these two. They need a good laugh every now and then.
> 
> Oh! And that name thing. I've had Daryl's middle name in store for awhile and the thing with Rick's insanely long name is a tradition that still persists in some families in the south!
> 
> As always, I'd LOVE to hear from you in the comments or at my Tumblr, [mycroft-silently-judges-you](http://mycroft-silently-judges-you.tumblr.com)!
> 
> Thank you and I hope you enjoyed your read!
> 
> Now on to part four.............


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